Naam Me Kya Rakha Hai?

I am not supposed to disclose, I have to keep quite  I have to die in the four walls of my heart  And keep the secret imbibed.  I am not supposed to disclose For it might raise fingers on me  It might make him suffer  and break my 'happy' dream. I am not supposed to disclose  The anger, frustration, hurt, pain, love, laughter and all those feelings insane, I don't want to be part of this blame-game zone I've to carry it till my grave.  I am not supposed to disclose  Even if I have sleepless nights  For if I disclose, I would be judged of Being a prostitute or an unfaithful wife. I am not supposed to disclose  I have a family to look for,  I have a kid to inspire, I have an entire life to live with my head held high.  I am not supposed to disclose  It's a secret growing in me  It's a secret that suffocates  That takes away the real me I am not supposed to disclose  But now it's like a time-bom

He wooed me  He caressed He loved me  Like no one else. He weaved a web  To make me prey  In which I fell With no disgrace. We made creases  On bed  And our silhouettes made love on the wall, All night all day, No time no break, We were into each other  With no sense of the world.  I got used to it He was moving away  Experiments weren't working  Well, I wasn't a professional anyway.  Just 3 months and it was going to an end, A relation that started fast  Was walking too soon towards the grave.  I thought it was a road to soul, My journey with him was ending on the bed. No memories, No talks, Just a passion  To make love like insane.  Did we really made love?  I asked myself! He moved on  Saying just three words that "It won't work" The Words that I never wanted to hear  But I knew they were about to come, I realised,  too late but early,  that it was all about sex. 

We cross a bridge  We stop on red lights  We step on each other  We step by each other sides  One thing leads to another  And we feel something special.  Lost in oblivion is the past  Working towards something we weren't aware of.  Highs and lows  Pits and other hurdles  We past through all,  But what is it?  Love?  We stand for each other  Fight together, sometimes against too Feel jealous but never commit  Agree that there is a magic and a call to take, But what is it? Love?  You and I,  Don't need to rush. I understand  You do too,  Let the flowers bloom a little more  Let the feeling cook a little more  Let the adrenaline rush not take over  Let the Cupid shove their arrows more into our core.  We've been through something like this before,  I know.  It's hard for you to take a first step,  It's hard for me to take a step back for us,  But we stand at a stage understanding that we do not need

A lips  Four ears  Of a girl  And a boy.  She hears,  She understands, If you love her  She loves you back, But he becomes your strength  The reason you would want to fight back Someone who will stay with  You in right or wrong  In black and whites of life. She dances on your Mehendi, He lifts you up till your destination . She teaches you how to behave, He teaches you how to be with someone who misbehaves. She depicts the boundaries  You've been brought up with, He depicts the freedom that comes with breaking of these boundaries. She takes you back to old book rules, He takes you on a ride where tensions have no space to rule.  He has his space so does she,  We need both of them else  Life with not be worth to live.

Door  Of wood  Unbreakable  Locked with A key  Of relationships  Can't leave Can't stay  A state of prisoner  I look at  Myself  In a state of pity.  Glass, Empty  But filled with toxic air  The air he breathes  Comfortably The air that slowly  Helps me to die It smelled like flower When I stepped inside  This wooden door inescapable Waiting for death  I look  at myself  In a state of pity. My mum  At nights Read me stories of kings and queens  The king, my father was The queen my mum was.  A king I believed  Born for me  Staying in a castle Far away. I grew up,  Still believing in  Him. He asked me  I didn't.  I dreamt for a fairytale, But it had to break.  I fell into the reality  Bruised myself  Bleed instead being blessed  I was caught in a knot  Waiting to be free  I look  At myself  In a state of pity. I don't read  Fairytales to  My angel  Born

Dear diary,  A striking light blinded me.  A car honked to signal me to get aside. I moved, But I saw the car stop by side and a man stooping out from the window.  A husky-deep voice questioned  "Are you okay?"  Quite scared,  I answered, "Yes, thank you"  He left, I couldn't see him.  Would I see him? Ever?  Goodnight  ___________________ Dear Diary,  I ordered my margarita,  And sat by the counter of the bar  All alone and quite.  Sudden appearance of a voice from my back Somehow it felt I have heard it before.  I looked around And noticed a gaze stopped on me and mine at him.  First I thought he is just checking me out, you know!  Then I saw him coming towards me.  I wanted to rush,  So I gulped my drink,  Paid,  And Was about to leave and I heard his voice- "Wait ma'am, remember we met couple of days back?  You of course couldn't see me. Hi I am Rick."  I was happy, but

Wake up, A call in your mind A shiver in your vein A skip of beats in your heart Signals that you've just experienced a feeling New but not good, Jealousy. Its like something stuck In the pipe of your throat Unable to spit To swallow To enjoy To be sad It's something like a dress you never liked Just like the person you never wana see in your life It's a feeling that's not good, Jealousy. It's a feeling she embraced when he embraced someone else in a picture, It's a feeling she pushed out the window when he pushed himself on her, A feeling of love being at par A feeling that can even make love a war A feeling which is not so good, Jealousy. A funny ride, Sometimes a hard side, A soft look Sometimes a hurtful truth May be a sign of loyalty Or of being weak Probably, too strong for a new relationship and nothing for someone who spent years two or three, A feeling between them, Not so good, but not so bad, Jealousy.

My brain has become a theatre where a movie plays once a week, I play entire movie and sometimes only pieces I love about it  Don't ask me the cast since I can't remember it well.  So, Ya where I was!  Oh yea, songs and la la la  You know what I mean  Are not there!  Just dialogues that helps you to rejuvenate and helps me to smile We dance without music  We sing without words  We romance without love  And love without notice  We were different and probably would be.  The lane we walk in our minds is a country we travel every fort night  The walls have the images of the best moments we spent  The lights are equal to the light we have in our eyes when we see each other  The weather is clear like our hearts  And the time that we spend  just like ummmm chocolate truffle?  A little to say  A lot to express  A memory to cherish  A memory to make  Let me write  Let me speak  Let me cherish  The memories we spent. 

Remember me when the sun shines bright on you and wind plants a chilly kiss on your cheeks to say hello. Remember me when some girl walks by your side and passes a smile or someone says 'hey you look handsome'  Remember me when a leaf touches your shoulder and you walk back to the times I have tapped on them lightly through my finger to call you Remember me when you go alone to some Starbucks and hear someone saying- Can I have a cafe mocha with low fat milk and no whip cream- and writes some long name on it.  Remember me, when you write some poem and use a word often used by me to express different emotions. Laugh about it that how I would use it always, no matter it fits or not.  Remember me when someone makes a huge grammatical mistake in their sentences  And also when they ask you the meaning of words you ever wrote.  Remember me when you break another promise  Or say words you never meant  Nope I am not hurt, but just remember me and the

Happy Women's Day!  There is this fake smile on every women's face today,  What is there to be happy about?  Her daughter is out and 7 in the eve She is spending her entire day thinking where she could be  Her son is out and it's 9  She prays for him to be able to control the devil inside  It's 11 in night and her husband is drunk  The other pillar of the family is never still and stern Not even for a second she lives for herself,  not a day she is not insulted  not a day she feels safe and free  Can you see any reason to celebrate who she is?  There is this fake smile on every women's face today,  What is there to be happy about?  She, 17-85,  no matter, has the same problems when she moves out, People staring even if she is covered or shows her cleavage wearing a dress she loves, Comments she's been listening to forever but never fought back because back there in her home, her mom said 'Just ignore' else you will be

Trembling feet  Still stops on the same door, Peaks in and finds the mere thing  The thing which makes my heart beat  Feet dance  Makes me hum the love song  Where is it?  I got to find it before the shop keeper comes in  And shoos me away  Again making me sleepless at night  And wondering if it's still there or someone else has picked it up again!   I remember the first time I saw it, I was awestruck!  It's beauty could never make me forget it. Once I couldn't stop myself and went in to ask how much was it for.  The price shook me a bit but still I asked for it from my parents but poor them couldn't afford it.  I decided I'll take it the next year and started to collect money.  A year went by, I had enough money but the shop didn't had it anymore. I asked if I can have it when it's here- the man in the shop said, "It will not come for another one year"  Now another year has went by, I did saw it yesterday.